i think i have herpe
just one?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
