Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
