The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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