Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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