dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
