hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
