my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
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