it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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