i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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