I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
