I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
