Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
