How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
