Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
