You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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