idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
