SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
