We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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