Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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