ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
