ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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