Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
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Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
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I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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