You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
