I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize