I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
