so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
