margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
