You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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