What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
