You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize