I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
