how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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