I'm jealous of your bromance
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
