And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You can't motorboat a personality
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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