This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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