Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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