we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
