mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
