I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize