look no pants
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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