Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
