just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
