I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
