please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
