If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
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Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
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17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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