Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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