he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
