Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
