I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
