I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
