That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
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my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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