just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
as a side note pls kill me
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
