I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
