Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
