How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
