If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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