When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just high enough for therapy.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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