i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
